Ack!

In the last two hours, I have received messages from a couple looking for a threesome, and a tall coked out looking black guy looking for someone who is spontaneos (spelling error intended) and looking for an intimate encounter.

What kind of people do I attract!?

Biscuits

"Whats up baby girl. You look so good i want to put you on a plate and sop you up with a
biscuit! I was thinking about me and you going out for dinner but im kinda broke so can
you spot me and ill pay you back? Oh and I aint got no car so could you come get me as
well???"

If you are online dating...

What's the point of playing the games?  And can someone tell me the rules? 

Here are some that I have heard so far:
- You should meet within 48 hours of communicating
- There are rules about calling/texting time frames after a date... like 48 hours or something  (one guy told me it was 3 days if you have sex with the person... really?)

And Lost

Remember the guy that was looking for an intimate encounter that runs in the same circles as I do?  Well, it turns out that he has a girlfriend.  Who knows he is on a dating website.  Because there are things that she won't do, and she is okay with him getting elsewhere, as long as he doesn't have sex with anyone.  I told him good luck with that.  And then he told me if I wanted to meet he would entertain the idea. 

Yeah, buddy... I am looking just to give a guy a BJ.  Clearly that's what every girl wants to give.

Get a clue. 

Naked

There was this guy, swear to god, online who had a photo of himself in a tie... and nothing else.  AAAAHHHHH, blindness.

For the inquiring ladies, he was actually pretty large and was not hard.  I wonder if that works for him...

Brains

One guy's headline: "If your relying on your looks dont bother."

My thought: "I hope he isn't relying on his brains"

Found

In the last 24 hours, I've ran into three people on the dating internets that I already know.  Two people from my college days, and one guy who is a part of a political organization I am a part of.  Interesting enough, the political guy was looking for an "intimate encounter."  After realizing that we probably knew each other, he took that down haha. 

I really don't want people who know me to find me.  Isn't it embarassing enough to be looking for a guy online??

Still fishing

Since the date with the questionably gay guy (who still messages me once every couple of days) I started talking to another guy who had a huge thing for BJs.  I was asked several times if I liked giving them, and he went as far as to tell me that he broke up with his last girlfriend because he was only getting about one a month.  I hadn't met him, and after deciding we probably didn't have much in common, I stopped talking to him.

Since then, I have also talked to:
2 car guys
a firefighter (I hope he looks good in uniform)
a guy who wants a woman who is willing to have sex at least 5 times a week
someone who spelled "whole" "holl" (he was foreign, so I give him a little bit of credit)
the meteorologist from last year (clearly I was his type)
a guy from Jacksonville who didn't understand why I didn't want to meet up for coffee

Not all of the above were bad, and I am still chatting with 2 of those guys (for now).  The one thing I am learning is that online dating is very rejection oriented.  You can message a bunch of guys, and never hear from them, and I can just not respond to people as well.  There isn't the trying to come up with an out or making niceties.  It's a completely different world.  One that I am failing at so far. 

Eggs

"Handsup give up your name and chat i'd, each day you don't 2 hostages (Eggs with faces drawn on them) dies. Needless to say this is an armed robbery..... P.S please do reply i don't wanna have just eggs for breakfast for a long time"

And we can make babies

Profile of the day:

"I was born to ride, Born to survive!


I do what ever it takes to get by,


I love to live , I'm not afraid to die,


cause I was born, born, born to ride


So come and dance right with me, woo!


Can you ride? Yeah can you ride ride baby, over night?


Take a chance right with me, don't be shy,


And we can make make babies, the rest of our lives!!"

Beautiful Women

First Date

All the Women deserve the Best cuz all of them are BeatifuL..Give me chance to make you dream :)..its always depends to you ;)

Questionably Gay

This story is about 2 weeks late, but it's a goody, as you might be able to tell by the title.

I signed up for POF, because it was free and the whole online dating scene makes me incredibly hesitant (and I think you can agree, for good reason).  Within days I started talking to this guy, who I had messaged and never expected to hear back from.  Basically, his profile spoke to me about how relationships are a give and take, he is looking for his best friend, he just moved here to be closer to his family because his dad lost everything in the economy, and he was super cute.  I didn't expect to hear back from him because I thought we were looking for different things (resisting the urge to insert joke here) but he responded and we agreed to get to know each other better.

I met up with him for drinks, a little late on Sunday night after his prodding.  Let me preface by saying that I had a wonderful time and think he's a really great guy.  I even found him attractive in person, which surprised me because he had grown some facial hair and based on previous experience, photos lie.  With that said, he had verbal diarreah of things you shouldn't tell a girl on a first date- or maybe ever. 

He told me he had proposed twice.  Sad, but I could handle that.

We talked about fashion and he was cluing me in on some new designer stuff that I hadn't heard of and all the stars were wearing.  A little odd, but bearable. 

He told me he spent 60 days in jail (apparently he dated a girl under 18 when he was 18- laws I guess are different).  Not good but at least it seemed like it was unfair. 

Then somehow we got on the discussion of gay people.  Now I know how I feel about gays (for those who don't me, I have some super close friends who are gay), so I asked him how he felt.  His response, "I love gays, I even thought I was gay for 6 months."  Wait, what?????

Later on, he told me when he was hammered he had gay tendencies.  Flag #2.

I immediately the next day had to consult some friends on whether he was gay and just didn't know it.  The verdict, sadly, is that he is. 

I have talked to him some since then, even asked what he meant about thinking that he was gay.  He told me he didn't sleep with any guys.  THANK GOD- that would be an awkward convo.  But what about the spectrum between kissing and having sex?  I just don't want to know.

He's a really great guy.  I wish I could even offer him another chance.  I also wish that I could help bring him out of the closet now and help the poor girl he marries from the cost of therapy down the road when he realizes that it wasn't just a 6 month phase of his life.  But I can't. 

Do you think it's possible I could just be friends with someone I met on POF?

Last Year

So last year I did the whole eharmony thing.  What a time that was.  I don't think I will ever forget the time that I got matched with a guy that had like half a mohawk that stood up at good 6 inches in the air- totally not my type.

I did go on two dates though, that made me pretty much immediately give up online dating.  How I am attempting this again makes me question my sanity, but I degress.

The first date I went on was with a weatherman who spent a lot of time in SoFla where he worked, but lived in Orlando.  A word of advice... these guys know how to use their hands.  If your thoughts went down the gutter, I am sorry to disappoint you.  Think about the amount of time they spend gesturing at a green screen to show up areas of the map and storms.  This was how he was in real life too- animated, almost theatrical.  I just wasn't feeling it, and when he texted me an hour later telling me how wonderful I was, I ran quickly in the other direction.  

The second date I went on was with this guy from Daytona Beach.  He was an accountant, but not at all boring like you would expect an accountant to be.  I remember enjoying getting to know him, and thinking how gorgeous he was- until I learned two things- pictures lie, and he was short.  I wore heels and I felt like a giant next to him.  My friend reminded me last night that he didn't like ice in his soda.  This really bugged me at the time, because it's just incredibly abnormal.  Especially for places that offer free refills.  He also weirded me out, but in a years time I don't merely remember the details as well, so I apologize for the lackluster description in what went wrong.

I decided eharmony was a little bit pricey, and when I received questionable matches like mohawk dude, I decided to quit while I was ahead of the game.  And that game just happened to be living the single life for a bit longer, before attempting online dating yet once again. 

Intro

Hi my name is... well let's just call me C.  I am 28 years old, and it's been about a year and a half since I've had a boyfriend.  In the meantime, I've had lots of, err... fun, but out of boredom and curiousity, I have decided to see what else might be out there.  Hence the putting myself online for whoever to see that I am "available". 

This isn't my first time checking out the online world.  Last year I was on eharmony for about a month, and in that time I had a lot of laughs.  I found the experience to be more humorous than serious, and some of my friends enjoyed laughing with me.  I have been on another website, POF, for about two weeks now, and so far the same results.   Hence the misadventures. 

So what exactly am I looking for?  I find that a lot of these guys are looking to get married.  I am just looking for that first step.  You know, a boyfriend.  If you end up being the MOMD (man of my dreams), so be it.  I hope we live happily ever after.  But, I am not seeking to skip a bunch of steps here to get a ring on my finger.

This blog is about the journey.  Not the destination.